Are there others out there that see this craziness? Since I’m not running, I’ll dare tooffer the lifelong collection bin of my thoughts on the presidency. Things would be really different with a wrinkle or two in my purview. The pundits would howl. The talking heads would scowl.
For instance, I’d do away with the IRS, and structure a consumption tax to eliminate collections. Everything would relate to GNP (Gross National Product). Sorry farmers, no subsidies. Oops, unions and political action committees – no GNP benefit, no dice. Can we afford deficit spending? Forget it. Crime and punishment – exported, baby!
Yes, I’d contract our incarcerated hardened criminals to other countries - for lesser cost and more deterrence. The contract would call for maximum security in Siberia or the Kalahari or Patagonia. No parole. I’d insist that the Kalahari prison keep the lions on the periphery barely fed.
I’d let the airlines handle all airport security issues. They have a bigger stake in the results. It’s the target beneficiary that would interest my attention as president. In the end, it would have to be the people.I’d use economic downturns to improve the infrastructure by putting government resources – like stimulus funding – into people and jobs where they are most needed. A stimulus would stimulate households, roads, bridges and housing, not banks and automakers. I’d start a new party to appeal to the future - and call it ‘The American Cause-Keeping Yardstick’ – or TACKY. The yardstick? If it doesn’t measure up to GNP, it will not likely help anyone. Period.
I’d eliminate all campaign contributions to level the field. Outrageous? Yeah. Campaigns do nothing for the GNP. I’d digitize all elections. No more voter ID, hanging chads, coercion, or long lines in a November rain.
Terrorism? A bad chapter in history would pass. I’d buy cyanide in 55-gallon drums. Convicted terrorists would get their suicide wish. Sayonara and cyanide both mean goodbye. Terrorist cells? New wells.
Identity theft would result in a prison contract with the Guatemalans. Robbery? That contract might go to Sweden. White collar crime like ponzi schemes and insider trading? Try New Guinea. Loser pays laws would reduce the over-litigiousness of our courts. DUI - mandatory loss of license 5 years. Ecology, Health and Fitness? More bike paths, jogging trails and junior golf, a sport that gets children out, emphasizes honesty and competitiveness, and provides for a lifetime of benefit. Scouting should be a mandatory lower school course. Think of the popcorn and cookies.
Schooling should be year-round with more time spent on math, sciences and engineering. A ‘homework’ or ‘afternoon scouting period’ should be from 3 to 5 to assist two income households. All learning must be interesting and fun with teachers paid commensurate with their production of aptly educated students. Wages will always be blind to gender or race and with better oversight controls.
The national debt would be reduced systematically by law. The increase of revenue from the consumption tax will assist this function in a predictable manner. Social programs will need to be better monitored for fraud, waste, duplication and inefficiencies. Some of the IRS workforce can transition to monitor this function. Disincentives should be introduced for unmarried couples with multiple children. No handouts apply. Other welfare programs should be re-directed to provide opportunities and incentives for those capable of productive work lives. Likewise, better long-term programs should be emplaced for developmental disabilities. There is nothing available for these people when their parents age or die.
Federal oversight of virtually anything should not extend to counteract state laws. We are the United ‘States’ of America. Several federal agencies - such as intelligence related groups (CIA, FBI, FIA, TSA) should be combined. Others should be eliminated (IRS, DOE, NLRB, ED, DOJ).
Immigration is workable, but has never been ‘one size fits all.’ Creativity in crafting policy is essential. There should be an option for a higher payout to work to 67 or 68 in the Social Security program. Our soldiers should be edified in every way possible. They protect us even when we’re sleeping.
Sweet tea should be available in every American restaurant. Volunteerism is to be coddled. Think about serious mass transit upgrades with our trains. English is what our Italian and German immigrants learned. It is the language of every world airport and every computer. And lastly, we need to reconfigure our bathtub drains away from the water supply. It makes cleaning the tubs much easier...if I were president.
Thomas (Tommy) McQueeney is ºa born and bred Charlestonian who graduated from The Citadel with a BA in English, and is an agent with State Farm Insurance.